In celebration of my 10 months of sobriety today, I’m sharing this video with you all that was shared with me last night by a dear friend.
What if your addiction isn’t about your chemical hooks but it’s about bonding? You choose not to drink too much or do drugs because you want to be present in your life – whether that’s relationships you have, your children, your friends, your work…whatever it is!
Addiction is mostly about not being able to be present in your life. It’s to escape and not deal or cope. At least that’s how it was for me.
Human connection is a wild thing isn’t it? Think about the last time you felt supremely happy…were you alone? Probably not.
I believe that humans crave bonds. I believe that after I left my abusive ex-husband, I felt alone and scared and damaged. I was looking to bond again. Instead of bonding to a human, to working on myself or some sort of useful hobby, I bonded with alcohol.
The addict life is the loneliest life I’ve ever known. I strongly believe that if I were truly alone in all of this, I could not and would not have wanted to change. But I had people who loved me, showed me compassion and offered to help me when I was at my lowest of lows.
My bonds with humans and myself eventually outweighed my bond with alcohol and I let it go.
People always ask me how can I help the addict in my life – love them. I’m not saying bend over backward and let them lie, steal or drain you of all your time and energy. I’m saying love them and remind them they are not alone and are loved.
If you are an addict yourself and you’re reading this – you are NOT alone. Reach out and talk to someone. Bond with something other than your drug of choice. Be present in your life again. Recovery is waiting for you.
Link directly to the Johann Hari Ted Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong?language=en&fbclid=IwAR1EWcvlpAdlWTbSPxE7alvThgwr2wToZP4SgoIjop9JyrHMYVq7appO71I