I started hosting trivia again and I have to say – I really really missed it. I didn’t even realize how much I missed it until I was standing in front of the room full of people with a mic in my hand. All eyes on me excited to play the game.
I was really worried that I was going to be starting over with my fear of public speaking. Instead, it was like putting on a pair of old shoes – comfortable. I didn’t get super nervous and my throat didn’t close up. I stood in front of that room and did my thang and it was glorious. It was so much fun to be up there again.
Originally I had started hosting trivia back in Oct of 2019. I had saw the listing for the job on craigslist when I got back from Europe and thought it sounded like fun and I needed the money. My first few shows were rough, but I slowly started to find my groove. Then COVID hit and everything got shut down, including my trivia hosting gig. At first, I liked having that night free but I didn’t really realize how much I missed it until this last week when I got to host again.
After the show was over, the audience members kept coming up to me as I was lacking my equipment to tell me how glad they were that I was back. My heart was so full. My tip jar was filled to the top, everyone was so generous too. I loaded my equipment and say in my car just filled with joy.
I get asked this question a lot, “Isn’t it difficult to work in a bar atmosphere when you’re sober?” My answer: Nope. The alcohol and bars were never the problem. It was, well, me. My need to escape what I refused to deal with. I became addicted to escapism. Alcohol and bars were just one of my many ways to escape.
But I’ve created a life for myself now that I don’t feel like I need to escape anymore. I removed alcohol from the equation after learning that alcoholism is a disease and it’s better for me to live my life without it. I went to therapy and started dealing with the things I was running from. Now 2+ years sober I have a life that doesn’t make me want to run and hide. I have friends and loved ones that are an incredible support system. I have great jobs and I’m more financially stable now then I’ve ever been before and you know what….I did it all myself.
I woke up on Feb 19, 2019 and decided that enough was enough. That I didn’t want to keep living my life that way I was living it. I’ve worked my ass off since then to not only just avoid drugs and alcohol but to really work on my insides as well.
So bars and alcohol don’t bother me. I still get annoyed by drunk people but I think that’s a human response not an alcoholic response hahaha. I’m happy to be able to be part of the fun and social aspects of bar life. I think just because I’m sober doesn’t mean that I can’t still enjoy happy hour with friends. I don’t need to get drunk to have a good time or be social or show up. I’m actually 100% better if I don’t.
It feels so good to be back. I’m grateful.
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