Duuuuuuuuude….have I mentioned lately that I’m glad I’m sober. Legit, I think this quarantine time might have done me in. Instead, I can laugh at memes and deal with life along with everyone else.
Some of my favorite things that are coming out of this quarantine are the memes.
I saw this meme this morning, the image for this post that says – “I wear a mask to the liquor store but I’ve been there so much the cashier recognizes me by my eyes”
Ok so funny story cuz I don’t wanna make this heavy or anything…
I used to live in Glendale. In my neighborhood there was this tiny little liquor store around the corner. It was my go-to spot for a cheap bottle of wine when I was sitting at home doing nothing or when I was already too drunk to drive.
To paint a picture of this store, it’s about the size of a small fast food restaurant. The store is small, there are maybe 3 very tight isles filled with an assortment of expensive food items (because it’s a tiny store, they need to make all the money they can) then the rest is all booze – beer and wine mostly.
There was always one of two clerks working at this store. Mostly people went there to buy beer and scratchers. They usually would scratch the scratchers right there at the counter. I’d always ask whoever it was if they won. I didn’t usually get a response.
There were also some candy machines right by the front door next to an ATM machine that sometimes worked. I say sometimes because I think I tried to use it when I was too drunk on occasion and couldn’t get any money out. Not because I didn’t know how to insert the card but I probably just didn’t have any money left. I digress.
Well I went to this store quite often. How often was it? Well…..
One night, I walk into the store that has a line of customers. The store clerk sees me and says, “Oh, I’m so sorry. We don’t have your favorite wine today!”. Everyones eyes shoot over to me for the response. I stop dead in my tracks and stand there like a trout with my mouth just wide open.
I didn’t know what else to do but to turn my ass around and just walk out. I was so embarrassed that the guy not only recognized me but KNEW the brand of wine I usually bought. As I walked the extra half mile to the other liquor store…I vowed to never ever walk into that store again.
Of course, that was a lie. Pretty sure I was back into my old store within the week, but damn was that embarrassing.
This has been a public service announcement for anyone who is currently stuck in quarantine going to the small liquor store in your neighborhood for booze. Don’t let this happen to you – mask or no mask. They WILL recognize you hahaha.
Lesson learned, vary up your purchases at small stores or else you run the risk of being recognized as the lady who buys the super cheap Chardonnay.
Guilty as charged.