It has occurred to me that I have become the person who is constantly on their phone. You know, the one we all hate. Sure, there are reasons to be the person constantly on the phone, but I don’t adhere to any of the good ones – not really. I’m not checking in on a sick loved one, checking stats on a campaign I’m running or drudging up new business.

No, I’m mostly likely on social media or a dating app shooting the shit.

So, I’ve come to the monumental conclusion, that it needs to go…..at least for a little while.

I feel like I’ve come a long way in the last few months – getting sober, traveling, finding a new home, not dating 15 people at once (this is an over-exaggeration but you get the idea) etc. What all of this has taught me is that I am able. I am able to do things I didn’t think were possible.

It also forces me to work on other things…..

What I think I have been doing is potentially replacing my old habits with procrastination and distractions. So, it’s time to give the ol’ social media the steel toed boot and focus on things that are actually going to keep moving me forward.

I deleted the social media apps and dating apps from my phone – I’m the biggest offender of checking them constantly even while driving. The only form of social media I will be using is Facebook but only the business end of it as I setup ads and accounts through there so there’s no getting around it. But under so circumstances am I to scroll through the feed, read comments or respond to folks.

Today is day 1 and it’s already a damn struggle. What a shame and waste of a human thought process. That I would be so affected by my lack of ability to scroll through Facebook or Instagram feeds to see what the world is doing today. Ya know, we lived millions of years without this bullshit before.

How about picking up the phone or meeting someone in person to ASK them about their day and what they’ve been up to. That’s a foreign fucking concept these days. You don’t need to ask because you been silently (or maybe not even silently for the likers and commenters out there) stalking their social media pages for months maybe even years. I’ve caught myself saying “Oh yea, I saw you post about that”. What the actual fuck.

So, Why Am I Kicking the Social Media Habit?

I waste a lot of time and am constantly distracted by my phone. It basically never leaves my side. Even when I was blackout drunk, I’d take that damn phone with me everywhere and even to bed (where I’d do the most destructive drunk texting ever). It’s a problem! Well, not the drunk texting anymore but the “always being on my phone” part.

I get distracted easily. Seriously, if that phone screen lights up, even if I’m in the middle of something important, I will stop to pick it up. ALWAYS! Someone can be in the middle of an important conversation and if I see my screen light up, I will have to look. It’s fucking awful, I know! But it’s the God’s honest truth. I can’t help it! Even if I flip the phone screen over, I’m still going to pick it up and look at it at least several times “just in case” someone or something requires my attention.

Social media depresses me. It’s true folks, social media depresses the fuck out of me. No matter what I do, I feel like everyone has a better life than me. People travel more, have happier relationships, awesome kids, careers they love, etc, etc. I’m just over here with a gallon of ice cream living vicariously through ya’ll. I realize that people only put their best foot forward on social media but because it’s the ONLY thing we see and know about most people in our lives….it takes its emotional toll on us whether we like it or not. If you say it doesn’t affect you, you are a bold faced liar my friend or some type of super human creation.

I see negativity and it breeds more negativity. Someone is always complaining about something on the internet. This includes me! Instead of being happy and grateful for what we do have, we gripe about what we don’t or what is wrong with the world or how we just wish we had this one thing that would make our lives complete. I mean, after all, look how happy everyone else is on social media with these “things” that make THEM happy. Fuckin-ay man! It’s a vicious cycle isn’t it.

I compare myself to others….a lot. Yup, there it is – the most truthful statement I can make about my social media usage. I compare myself to others constantly. I know I shouldn’t do it and I know that social media is not an accurate representation of each individual person but I do it anyway. My brain and emotions don’t give a FUCK about logic when it comes to this stuff. That’s it, I’m not even going to expand further on this point.

I look for validation. Yup, I sometimes post photos or stories to be validated. Tell me I’m pretty. Tell me I’m funny. Give me a pat on the back Remind me that I’m not a piece of shit. It’s sad, but it’s true. It’s not my sole basis for self esteem but it is a source of it.

At the end of the day, I was starting and ending my days with social media. The negatives were severely outweighing the positives in my life so I decided – it’s time for a break. It’s time to find something else more useful to do with my time.

Maybe I’ll, I dunno, read an actual book for a change. Perhaps I’ll try this thing called meditating. I’ll maybe even pay full attention to the tv show I claimed I binge watched but really just sat on my phone while it was on.

Ultimately I just want to break the cycle of constantly staring at my phone screen looking for the next bit of gratification and work on experiencing and getting gratification from the things around me instead.

I’m a pisces so I’m a dreamer and social media completely defeats my abilities to stay grounded right where I am and work on things in this world not in outer space or dreamland.

So there you have it. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

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