About 2 years ago I did something pretty drastic to my hair. On a whim, I decided to chop all my hair off and go with a Pink style mohawk.
At the time, I was going through some shit. They always tell you, don’t cut your hair (specifically bangs, but I think this applied to chopping ALL your hair off too. In true rebellious fashion, I didn’t listen and I chopped all my hair off.
Luckily, it didn’t look too bad on me. A couple months before this I had gotten wasted a woke up the next morning with a septum ring I didn’t remember getting. I was very impulsive at this time. I did what I wanted and I didn’t give a shit what anyone else thought (or at least that’s what I told myself anyway).
I was legit going through an identity crisis. You see, I was feverishly trying to figure out who I was, where I was headed and what I was going to do with my life. I felt like I was on a road to nowhere. Cutting my hair felt like change. Like somehow changing how I looked would spur some type of magical solution to everything that was troubling me.
True story….it wasn’t.
No it’s 2 years later and my hair has grown back but it’s taken patience. Patience is something that I have lacked a lot of. I’m always trying to find the faster root to the solution. Being told to wait or that it will take time has been difficult.
So I decided my final short hair cut was to be April before I left for Paris last year. I was going to grow my hair back and be patient. I’ve been tempted so many times to cut it…like so many times I couldn’t keep track even if I wanted to.
Looking back on the decision I find value in my being able to stick to the decision. It’s been a difficult thing for me in the past to stick to things I said I would do. It’s not that I hated the short hair, it’s that I said something and stuck to it.
I had to be patient. You can’t force your hair to grow. Trust, if there was a way, I would have tried. I mean, I take the healthy hair vitamins, but those don’t work nearly as quickly as one might hope.
Growing my hair out taught me patience. I hope to continue to work on my patience. Sobriety taught me patience as well. Therapy is teaching me patience. Relationships with people is teaching me patience.
But every now and then I struggle and I try to remind myself that like growing out my hair, it just takes time and persistence. If I kept shaving my head, I would never get there. Instead, I have to let things take the time they are going to take.