Sometimes I scroll through my phone to remind myself of how far I’ve come. When I start to get down on myself for whatever the day’s current reason….it helps for me to take a trip down memory lane. I most often look at photos of my europe trip followed by photos of my drunken days (boy there are so many).
The first photo is me a year ago and the second is me today. Both appear happy but only one of these girls is actually pursuing happiness instead of just trying to numb herself out. The girl in the photo holding the bottle was medicating herself almost every single day.
Unlike drug addiction (I had those vices to), you can’t really tell that there’s anything wrong with me from a glance at this photo but I was so sick and obsessed with the drink in my hand. Bad day – drink. Good day – drink. Bored – drink. I couldn’t just have one. Most days, I’d have one in public with friends and go home and polish off another bottle or two on my own.
I couldn’t see the point in just having one. I was your classic binge drinker. Today, I have healthier coping mechanisms and when I have a bad day, I remind myself that I have spent the last 330 days choosing to be better and do better. I find solace in that.
I’m stronger today than I was back then and I’ll continue on this way with my drinking days behind me instead of in front of me.
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