So I’ve gone a full 30 days of just focusing on dating myself. No other romantic hassles, dating apps or dates with new people. I decided to just focus on myself and take myself out on weekly dates.
What I’ve Learned
- Date nights have been really easy and stress free. I make the plan and I just go. There’s no overthinking or worrying about a single thing. The best part of dating yourself is that you know what you like and don’t like. Easy peasy to plan date nights when you have that kind of information.
- I don’t worry about how I look or dress. Often times before I date with someone, I will literally change ike 10 times. Clothes all over the floor, me looking and judging myself. Dating myself, it didn’t even occur to me to worry about that sort of thing.
- I don’t feel pressured to stay out when I just want to go home. I can just go home. I don’t need to make up an excuse. I just tell myself that I’ve had enough and I’m ready to go. I didn’t feel bad about wanting to get home early and be in bed at a certain time.
- I didn’t mind being alone. I didn’t actually mind it at all. I always had my plan and then I would just go and be and exist.
At the end of the day, what I’ve realized is that I put a lot of pressure on myself when it comes to pleasing other people. I’m so worried about everything from getting ready to staying out late just to make sure the other person is comfortable or happy. I do so much internal thinking and over-thinking that I’m missing out on the fun of the actual dating process. I’m so wrapped up in what I THINK the other person wants. This might sound charming in some ways, but it’s also just not a great way to opperate.
It’s important to communicate and talk to the person you are dating. If you are unsure, don’t guess, just ask. I would save myself a lot of thinking and overthinking time by not assuming anything.
I’m reading The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and one of the agreements is don’t make assumptions. Don’t assume that you know better or that you even know what another person wants. Just ask. Communicate. Let them tell you how they feel and what they want. Trying to guess is just a waste of everyones valuable energy and time.